Love and loneliness

I often have moments when I can feel filled with love and gratitude. Previously, I used to think that love for a partner was a special type of feeling that you don't feel for anyone else. Instead, if you think that love for a child, love for a partner, love between friends, love for people who are important to you, and that quick warm feeling that can come over you when meeting a sympathetic stranger are the same feeling, just different in intensity, then life is filled with love. 

Sometimes, when I feel low and lonely, I may think that if I had someone to sleep next to every night, someone to come home to, it would feel better. We are led to believe that love for that 'one true person' will make it so we never have to feel lonely again. But I think that the feeling of loneliness is more of an existential state that all people experience from time to time, regardless of what relationships they have. 

I don't believe that lasting happiness can come from someone else; you have to find ways to handle difficult times yourself. My gloomy moments are usually quite short. Sometimes, it's just sleep that is missing. A fun dance class or a coffee with the right friend can lift my mood; sauna and winter swimming are my newest medicine. What works best are things where I activate my body and feel good together with others. 

Love is what makes me feel connected to the world. It doesn't mean that I never feel lonely, but it often fills my body with happiness. And it's not the love I receive (although that increases as a bonus) but the love I give. I am not dependent on anyone else to make my life full of love. The more loving I am towards the people I meet and myself, the more loving I feel the world is. Love is not a scarce commodity; it is not a finite resource that you need to ration. If someone else receives it, it doesn't mean there is less left for me. Instead, it spreads.